{"id":148,"date":"2009-08-11T14:02:24","date_gmt":"2009-08-11T12:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/svm2.net\/abandonedtimes\/?p=148"},"modified":"2009-08-11T14:02:24","modified_gmt":"2009-08-11T12:02:24","slug":"spouse-selection-a-key-to-a-successful-missionary-career","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/spouse-selection-a-key-to-a-successful-missionary-career","title":{"rendered":"Spouse Selection: A Key to a Successful Missionary Career"},"content":{"rendered":"

M<\/span>arriage is a very critical element in missions, much more than it is in most other careers. The marriage partner could either be the reason for a great success in the field or s\/he could be the reason for frustration and eventual abandonment of the message bearer career.<\/p>\n

It is therefore very critical that we carefully consider who becomes our life partner and eventually living with us \u201cuntil death (do us part) separates.\u201d In the old marriage celebration manuals, the exhortation goes that because marriage is holy and sanctified by God, it should not be entered into \u2018unadvisedly.\u2019<\/p>\n

The notion here is that before marriage vows are taken, the would-be partners should seek enough godly counsel and be convinced about the will of God in the relationship. The bottom line is that \u201cit is for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer etc.\u201d<\/p>\n

Given such brief background, we also need to understand that message bearer work is a\u00a0\u00a0 lifetime affair and above all, it is a frontier ministry.\u00a0 Missionaries are normally operating out of the comfort zone of their life.\u00a0 They make a choice to be relocated in a region where the gospel is needed most, and they are acquainted with lots of sacrificial living on a daily basis.<\/p>\n

Missions work is an abandonment of self to the will of the Father in the service of mankind -usually those who are deprived and unreached.\u00a0 It is therefore important to note that the message bearer marriage situation demands a little more strain beyond the normal \u2018till death separates us\u2019 affair. You have to go the extra mile with one another.<\/p>\n

As a young unmarried person with the zeal for missions (life outside the comfort zone), who then qualifies to become my partner? It must be someone who can share the tough situations with me and also share my moments of joy and victory. Who is that lady or gentleman who will understand my situation and stand with me on the rainy day in the mission field?\u00a0\u00a0 What qualities should I look for in that person?<\/p>\n

The Potential spouse must have the clear spiritual disciplines of the Christian faith<\/h3>\n

Missions is a battle-front affair.\u00a0 Hence, it is important that the spouse must have a clear understanding of God\u2019s leading and direction.\u00a0 The potential spouse must have a regular\u00a0lifestyle of reading and studying the Word of God.\u00a0 This enables her to be in-tune with the Spirit of God and thereby know the mind of God for the message bearer family.<\/p>\n

From day to day, it is important that message bearer families look to the Lord for direction.\u00a0 A spouse who therefore does not have a personal walk with God in His word will easily be lured by the pleasures of the world and become distracted from the goal of service.<\/p>\n

She must be committed to PRAYER as well.\u00a0 A faithful praying spouse is one of the greatest supports to the message bearer in the field.\u00a0 It is said that \u201cthe family that prays together stays together.\u201d If the spouse is grounded in his\/her prayer life, there is an assurance that in the tough times, the family and the marriage will last \u2013 \u201ctough times don\u2019t last but tough people do.\u201d<\/p>\n

The potential spouse must also be seen to possess the quality of going the extra mile in prayer and fasting.\u00a0 In Africa, we are used to seeing the hand of God move in answer to fasting and night vigil prayers.\u00a0 As such when situations arise\u00a0which are difficult, we run to the prayer and fasting closet to seek the verdict of God.\u00a0\u00a0 A spouse of this essential caliber therefore assures you that in the times of challenge, your hand in his hand, sitting by her and both of you lifting up your voice together will draw heaven\u2019s attention to the mission field and the Lord will respond.<\/p>\n

That is enough confidence to walk into that marriage and march on to the field of calling.\u00a0 With this\u00a0\u00a0 assurance from your prayer closet, you are assured of victory \u2013 companionship in dealing with all forms of human problems and attacks on the ministry.\u00a0 Message bearer retention results from Ghana indicates that a healthy family relationship produces high retention.<\/p>\n

The Potential Spouse must have the spirit of complementing<\/h3>\n

When God called Adam and assigned him a role \u2018to dress and to keep the garden of Eden.\u2019 He (God) eventually called a \u201chelper\u201d to assist him (Adam) in carrying out the purpose of God.\u00a0 In the same way, when we are called into missions with specific directions from God, \u2018the helper\u2019 must add to what we do and not become competitors and complainers over the missions agenda.<\/p>\n

Should the spouse become a \u201ccompetitor\u201d in the field, danger looms.\u00a0 Competition will breed disagreements.\u00a0 This will eventually affect the very fibre of the marriage and the family.\u00a0 If this marriage foundation breaks down, the mission suffers.<\/p>\n

When you are looking for a potential partner in missions therefore, you need to find out whether your choice complements your strength or will want to fight with you over issues of ministry.\u00a0 This point however should not be confused with a healthy discussion over what is appropriate in a given context.\u00a0\u00a0 A spouse may be concerned over certain issues and therefore ask for sober reflection before critical steps are taken in ministry.<\/p>\n

I am specifically referring to the situation where the spouse holds out him\/herself\u00a0 as competent\u00a0 enough to take over the roles of the assigned person.\u00a0 It is unhealthy and will ruin the family testimony and scare other co-workers. I glad to cite the example of Ghanaian missionaries whose spouses help in the field work. This was revealed in the WEA Message bearer Retention Survey conducted in 2003. \u201cTheir spouses also have a fair work role to play. (4.2 on a 6 point scale)\u201d<\/p>\n

The Potential spouse must be likeminded and suitable<\/h3>\n

We are searching for someone who can live and work with you in your message bearer call.\u00a0 And God did not make a mistake when He told Adam, \u201cI will make a helper suitable for you.\u201d (emphasis added)\u00a0\u00a0 For somebody to be suitable means the person can fit into the mould of the message bearer calling, \u201cShe must have a clear understanding of what your message bearer calling is, and will be willing to adjust and adapt to the settings in which you work.<\/p>\n

The message bearer calling demands that you are ready to change your mind from \u2018home\u2019 to fit \u2018the field.\u2019\u00a0 This is what makes you a successful and surviving message bearer.\u00a0 Your spouse then must also exhibit clear signs of adaptability in her thinking and behavior.\u00a0 I will therefore recommend that as you muse over your message bearer career, your spouse to be must be alerted and helped to do the paradigm shift.\u00a0 She might have been musing over becoming a great professional in an elite environment.\u00a0 This means you are already poles apart.<\/p>\n

If nothing is done, and you move into a marriage of convenience, there are dangers that the \u2018old self,\u2019 \u2018the good old days,\u2019 and the \u2018had I known\u2019 will emerge in the middle of the message bearer enterprise.\u00a0 In this light also, it is highly recommended that if the message bearer candidate is getting married the couple should have training\/counseling\/debriefing sessions together.<\/p>\n

This training together especially for fresh couples on their way to the field helps to resolve future problems before they occur.\u00a0 The incoming spouse should be helped to adapt and fit into the message bearer understanding of the world. I must sound a note that this wouldn\u2019t happen automatically.<\/p>\n

It will take a conscious effort on the side of the message bearer and the agency involved.\u00a0\u00a0 Through this effort, the incoming spouse gains understanding of the perspectives.\u00a0 Should there be disagreements over the tenets here, then the marriage should not be allowed to proceed at all \u2013 seeing the dangers involved.<\/p>\n

Sometimes some think about exercising faith in times of trouble \u2013 but we must understand that faith is exercised by human beings based on the facts of the case known and understood by them.\u00a0 If the spouse already has problems with the message bearer enterprise or the agency principles and procedures, it will be difficult to exhibit mountain moving faith.<\/p>\n

When your sources of information and instruction are alike, your behavior and attitudes tend to be alike.\u00a0 You will be suitable and enjoy both success and challenges of the work you do in missions.<\/p>\n

The Co-Message Bearer Situation<\/h3>\n

For decades, we have practiced a system where one person is designated \u2018message bearer\u2019 and the other does not have a \u2018real place\u2019 in the scheme of things.\u00a0 As such, we are tempted to look for \u201ca cook, a maid, money box or just a sex mate\u201d in a spouse.\u00a0 The intention is for them to supply what we need to get going.\u00a0 This is referred to in my hey days as \u201chelp me finish my course\u201d \u2013 a notion that the other person is just a means to an end. Message bearer statistics counts the staff and makes reference to the spouse as excess baggage.<\/p>\n

For you the message bearer to find the right spouse, there is the need to look for a woman\/man whose life counts towards making your vision stand.\u00a0 A spouse who knows and understands that my life as invested in the field will be reckoned in heaven will be willing to endure to the end.<\/p>\n

A\u00a0 spouse who sees salvation of eternal souls as the outcome of his\/her hours poured into message bearer work with you will be willing to give anything it takes for the vision to become a reality.\u00a0 Even if they serve in secular roles to support the work of missions, they will not be dissatisfied at home over the challenges of the work.<\/p>\n

They see every uprising of the enemy as a collective attack on the integrity of the family and the work of God.\u00a0 They will stand together to fight.\u00a0 Then – you have a family you can count on \u2013 a spouse you can really say is with you.\u00a0 Attrition will drop to the lowest and retention rates will go high.<\/p>\n

As you seek to find a woman\/man to marry on your message bearer journey, look out for people who you can call\u00a0 co \u2013 missionaries (co-laborers).\u00a0\u00a0 And you will be proud to see them invest their gifts and talents in the work you are called to.\u00a0 But again, watch out against the spirit of competition.<\/p>\n

Again, please be warned against choosing a spouse just to feel satisfied or for financial or sordid gain.\u00a0 Some giants of the past related with spouses who only served them sexually, financially and took care of their babies (especially in the case of women spouses).\u00a0 The parties were never satisfied in the marriages and so became traumatized, and some died in awkward ways.<\/p>\n

I may refer you to John Wesley and David Cook all of Methodism and William Carey of international fame. My assignment will be for you to research into what their marriages looked like. Be sure to send me what you have found out.<\/p>\n

Sacrificial Living \u2013 the lost art of successful\u00a0 message bearer endeavors<\/h3>\n

I think an example will illustrate my point here.\u00a0 There was a young single message bearer who worked in the Upper East corner of Ghana in a village.\u00a0 His village is one of the remotest in the whole country.\u00a0 He cried for the salvation of the people group who were highly unreached.<\/p>\n

After a few years of settling down in the field, he decided to pick a spouse who would be of assistance in his daily routine of message bearer work.\u00a0 After years of prayer and search, he finally agreed to marry a beautiful young girl from the popular city of Kumasi.\u00a0 Kumasi is in central Ghana and rich in resources.\u00a0 The northern sector has a large representation of families here and the southern people also travel for greener pastures in some vocational areas.<\/p>\n

After Kwaku had performed his customary rites and blessed his marriage in church, he left with his beautiful city girl to his village in the Tumu area.\u00a0 He had high hopes of multiplied results from the field.\u00a0 But alas, he realized to his amazement that the countenance of the beautiful wife was not shiny. He had begun to wonder what his mistake was.\u00a0 Did he offend in any way?<\/p>\n

When the situation was becoming too serious, Kwaku decided to have an intense conversation with his new wife.\u00a0 And Abena, his wife, spilled the beans, \u201cHow can you bring me to such a typical village?\u00a0\u00a0 Do you really love me?\u00a0 How can I be myself here?<\/p>\n

Kwaku was shocked to his bones but Abena made up her mind that she was not carved for the village life, especially when it involved sacrifices and no foreseeable change in the short run.<\/p>\n

Kwaku eventually lost both Abena and his message bearer career.\u00a0 He became disillusioned when Abena packed her bags, would not listen to any more advice and came back to her \u2018heaven.\u2019\u00a0 Kwaku, who did not have enough member care counseling nor trauma attention also left the field to try his luck in the south in another field of professionalism.<\/p>\n

The above incidence could be avoided, if time was taken to give Abena adequate exposure and understanding on the gap between life in the city and village. A short term visit to the area and also teaching on the need for Christians to be willing to leave the comfort zone for the sake of the lost souls would have been a plus.<\/p>\n

If you are entering into missions be sure not to go in for novices in mission exposure.<\/p>\n

May God heal the many marriages that are hurting and give wisdom to those seeking spouses on their way to the mission n field or already in the field.<\/p>\n

Matthew 19:5
\nGenesis 2:15
\nSampson Dorkunor: Connections \u2013 A journal of the WEA Missions Commissions: Vol 3 No.2\u00a0 June 2004.\u00a0 pp 59.\u00a0 www.wearesources.org
\nGenesis 2:18b<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Marriage is a very critical element in missions, much more than it is in most other careers. The marriage partner … <\/p>\n

Read More ><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":4678,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",1600,891,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-150x150.jpeg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-300x167.jpeg",300,167,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-768x428.jpeg",768,428,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-1024x570.jpeg",1024,570,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",1536,855,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",1600,891,false],"gb-block-post-grid-landscape":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",600,334,false],"gb-block-post-grid-square":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",600,334,false],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-300x167.jpeg",300,167,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-600x334.jpeg",600,334,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-100x100.jpeg",100,100,true],"audioigniter_cover":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-560x560.jpeg",560,560,true],"ppec_logo_image_size":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",108,60,false],"ppec_header_image_size":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",162,90,false]},"post_excerpt_stackable":"

Marriage is a very critical element in missions, much more than it is in most other careers. The marriage partner could either be the reason for a great success in the field or s\/he could be the reason for frustration and eventual abandonment of the message bearer career. It is therefore very critical that we carefully consider who becomes our life partner and eventually living with us \u201cuntil death (do us part) separates.\u201d In the old marriage celebration manuals, the exhortation goes that because marriage is holy and sanctified by God, it should not be entered into \u2018unadvisedly.\u2019 The notion…<\/p>\n","category_list":"Abandoned Devotion<\/a>","author_info":{"display_name":"Sampson","author_link":"https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/author\/sampson"},"comments_num":"0 comments","featured_image_urls_v2":{"full":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",1600,891,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-150x150.jpeg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-300x167.jpeg",300,167,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-768x428.jpeg",768,428,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-1024x570.jpeg",1024,570,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",1536,855,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",1600,891,false],"gb-block-post-grid-landscape":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",600,334,false],"gb-block-post-grid-square":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",600,334,false],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-300x167.jpeg",300,167,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-600x334.jpeg",600,334,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-100x100.jpeg",100,100,true],"audioigniter_cover":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image-560x560.jpeg",560,560,true],"ppec_logo_image_size":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",108,60,false],"ppec_header_image_size":["https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/GMMI-cloudy-sky-front-image.jpeg",162,90,false]},"post_excerpt_stackable_v2":"

Marriage is a very critical element in missions, much more than it is in most other careers. The marriage partner could either be the reason for a great success in the field or s\/he could be the reason for frustration and eventual abandonment of the message bearer career. It is therefore very critical that we carefully consider who becomes our life partner and eventually living with us \u201cuntil death (do us part) separates.\u201d In the old marriage celebration manuals, the exhortation goes that because marriage is holy and sanctified by God, it should not be entered into \u2018unadvisedly.\u2019 The notion…<\/p>\n","category_list_v2":"Abandoned Devotion<\/a>","author_info_v2":{"name":"Sampson","url":"https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/author\/sampson"},"comments_num_v2":"0 comments","yoast_head":"\nSpouse Selection: A Key to a Successful Missionary Career - GMMI<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.globalmmi.net\/spouse-selection-a-key-to-a-successful-missionary-career\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Spouse Selection: A Key to a Successful Missionary Career - GMMI\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Marriage is a very critical element in missions, much more than it is in most other careers. 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